I think most artists are insecure like me. No matter how much we've grown and accomplished, we're always wondering, "is this good enough?" And there's a stage in every artwork where we just want to rip it up and start again...or quit altogether! We see a vision in our heads and we try to reveal it on the page or canvas, but we always are aware of where we have fallen short of that original vision...and it's frustrating!
And such is life.
How often I have a vision in my head of what I want life to look like, and yet it often plays out very differently...also frustrating. Sometimes, debilitating.
But as a recovering "perfectionist" I'm learning to accept the shortcomings and the mistakes in my life and in my art. For example, I struggled with this particular painting. It didn't match my vision. But then I realized, it's ok. It's still good. I can still celebrate, even if it's not "perfect." So I went ahead and posted it. To my surprise, it garnered some very positive feedback. But it means more to me than that. It means I'm growing.
Mistakes and stumbles are all part of the process, part of the greater journey. Sometimes I really feel like I'm fumbling around in darkness, but then, I look up, and once again I realize I can keep walking into the Light. It's always there, even if sometimes it's obscured.
Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, Lord (Psalm 89: 15)